Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Starting Over

A year ago today I wrote this post.

And here I am, a year later, starting over again.  Feeling empty.  Feeling lonely. 

It's not like this is a new thing for me.  Even before I moved from Ferron I felt like this.  

I'm wondering if maybe it is me. 

Last year when I moved I was determined to be friendly with everyone, and not wait for people to be friendly with me first.  

Over the course of the year I made some great friends, and started to feel like I belonged, at least a little bit.  

But still, I never felt like there was really anybody who sought out my company.  

I have issues with this all. the. time.  And I'm sure you guys are tired of hearing about it.

But writing about it helps me feel better.  And your comments make me feel not so alone. 

Lately I've had my sister living with me, and she has definitely filled that void.  She is a living, breathing best friend right in my house!  We have had so much fun just being silly together.  This transition has been much easier with her. 

You all know how wonderful my husband is, but girls just need girlfriends in their lives, don't they?  

But really, I'm just tired.  Tired of starting over, tired of trying to find my place in my new town, my new community, my new ward.  I just have no energy for it this time. 

So maybe I'll just become a hermit.  

Let's see how well that works out for me. 

12 comments:

  1. I have been such a hermit the past 6 weeks. Thought I would spend more time on the phone w/o the computer, but no.

    Come and play with us! I'm excited you're here!

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  2. Moving as often as you have makes it hard. Just as you start to grow some roots you're uprooted and transplanted to start all over again. Now that you have a good soil to grown in (you own your home) I am sure you will feel more belonging as your roots are giving time to really thrive in the soil.

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  3. There are times I feel like this and I have lived where I am for 10 years.
    I feel ya♥

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  4. I HATE moving too!
    It stinks. At least you have your sister to help ease the burden of moving.
    I'm glad you are back in blogland for a little while!
    Love ya Sharla!

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  5. You can do it! And even though you have moved a lot you have developed friends who care.

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  6. Lots of people feel exactly the same way. You articulated it for the rest of us. Great post.

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  7. Sorry to hear you are down, sweetie! I know I haven't been around much, but I think of you often. In case you haven't been to my blog in a while, I stopped blogging. I work FT, and have a photography biz on the side and it all got to be too much!

    How's the computer holding up for ya?

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  8. I'm sorry. Moving sucks. You will be fine though. You have a magnetic personality and you will find lots of friends I'm sure. Glad lil' sis is there to be a friend for now. Tell her I said hi.

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  9. Im sorry that it is so hard. Dan and I have had the same problem since we moved so often we eventually just decided it was to much effort for us. We are pretty anti social to begin with. On an up note 4 years after buying a house I feel a little more stable in our ward. Good Luck on your new beginning and I hope it is your last for a while.

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  10. Wish I were your neighbor! I can't wait to see you guys at Rachael's wedding! And this time I get to sit and visit!

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  11. Don't do it, sweetheart! I understand the temptation because I fight to make myself get out of bed and face the world a lot of days. But I know that when I give in to the temptation to hide from the world it will become too hard to ever make myself face it again! Don't do that to yourself! Fight the fear, pray yourself up, and then go face the new world, new neighbors, new church! We'll be praying that God will surround you with armies of angels to protect and guide you each step of the way!

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  12. This is sort of a reply to Beth Z. I was just reading how difficult it often is to get started. The advice of 'fighting the fear' is just too much. So, I trick myself. If I am about to give up say on going to knitting, i might just tell myself that I'm going to go sit in the car for 5 minutes.

    PS Am new to blogging and am trying one to get my whole life back on track. tiny problem, huh

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