Saturday, June 12, 2010

Cleaning House

We are moving.  Again.  

This will be our 12th move in the almost 11 years that we have been married.  And hopefully the last for quite some time. 

I am so excited, because we are finally buying a house! 

I've mentioned some big changes....buying a house is one of them.  

I am excited. And stressed. 

It's always good to have the opportunity to clean house, to throw away that which you don't really need.  

Out with the old, in with the new. 

But I am cleaning house in more ways than one......

I recently had an interesting experience on facebook.  One which made me think.  A lot.  About myself.  And about what I need in my life.  

Call me selfish, but I am at a point in my life where I really do not need or want drama.  I have enough on my plate as it is. I don't want to spend an afternoon crying over something so silly, I still can't even believe the response I got. 

I don't enjoy controversy, I never have.  I like peace.  I don't like the feeling of anger when something makes me rear up in self defense

In my relationships with others, I try to lift them up, and help them be a better person.  

One thing they can rest assured in is that I've got their back.  I will defend them.  And I would never purposely attack them or embarass them. 

At the Casual Blogger Conference speaker Matt Townsend said something that really stuck with me. (You have to listen to him sometime, he is so funny I was almost peeing my pants.)  He was talking about relationships and the first thing he mentioned is that in any relationship we have to feel safe. 

Safe. 

Not trust, love, or affection. 

Safety.

In the knowledge that they will not turn against you. Talk bad about you. Treat you differently behind your back than they do to your face. 

So I want to surround myself with friends and family that make me feel safe. 

That know me well enough that they will keep me safe. Not just physically, but emotionally. 

I think I deserve that. 


10 comments:

  1. EVERYONE deserves that. Especially you, Miss Sharla.

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  2. I am so EXCITED you are Buying a house!! But SO sad you are moving!!! You know I went through the same thing you did in a round about way... I lost 2 close friends this past year and it made me thing A LOT!!! But I Found that it was for the better! I cannot handle any more DRAMA! Its AWFUL!! I think its a girl thing I will have to deal with forever... eh! But Anywho! Im here for you and we should do lunch!!

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  3. Its true. That is what a relationship should have. You are very loved by so many especially me, I hope you know that.

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  4. Yes, yes YES!!!
    So exciting for you!!

    Your brother just got a house too in Vernal too.
    How awesome is that??

    Yes, Sharla you deserve all the happiness in friendship always.

    'Cause YOU ROCK!

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  5. yeah for buying a house.. Can't wait to see it.. I do believe you are right about the drama! Who needs it?

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  6. oh ya and I love listening to matt townsend on Studio 5 He is great and has a lot of good advice..

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  7. Congrats on the house. Good luck with the move. I know what you mean about the friendships, I've felt a need to be more selective about who I share time with, too. All the cattiness just isn't worth it.

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  8. WTG On buying a house. I move all the time too and it definitely has both positives and negatives!

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  9. Congrats to you and your family on your new home. Finally, you can put down some roots!

    Watch out though, I found I ended up with a LOT more "Stuff" when we bought our 2nd...how that happened...I dunno! But, we had to hire movers for the first time we had so much!

    Thanks for the advice. Been wondering what to tell my dad who just recently wanted to start talking to me again, but, I have been feeling funny about it. I always end up getting hurt and so do my kids. And you are right, it is all about feeling safe and wanting to keep my kids safe from being hurt.

    Have the best time getting settled!

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  10. The word "safe" in a relationship is new to me because I always thought that as long as you have trust with your partner, it can make the relationship work but I guess you're right - that's the most appropriate word, to make you feel secure.

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Comments are the bloggy air I breathe, but please keep my air clean.

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