Tuesday, January 6, 2009

If only they knew...

I've thought many times that I wish I could show my children how much I love them. You know, just sort of take that love right out from inside me and put it inside them so that they'd really know. I imagine our Heavenly Father feels the same, times a million.

Back in July I was called as 2nd counselor in Young Women's. For those that may not know it is a program in our church geared towards the young women ages 12-18. We meet together for one hour during church and at least once a week during the week. I am personally over the 12-14 year old girls who I teach every other week and work with on a regular basis. I can honestly say that I have come to love these girls like they are my own children. Actually, not really like children as much as maybe younger sisters. I look at each of them and just see this light from within. I love to see their differences, and I can tell you in all honesty that they are each beautiful, inside and out. When I see them do something good or achieve something I am just beaming inside. And when I see one of them hurting or struggling I just ache inside for them and want to take them in my arms and make it all okay.

I feel like I'm getting a glimpse of what motherhood will be like when my children are older and making their own decisions. There is this inner ache and yearning because all you want truly and completely is for them to be happy. But you can't make them. You can't make them love you. You can't make them want to be there. You can't make them believe. You know that they will be stronger to just let them learn and grow on their own, at their own time and their own pace. But it just tears you up inside to see them hurting.

I don't know how our Heavenly Father did it. I don't know how He watched His Only Begotten Son kneel down in the Garden of Gethsemane and bleed from every pore as He felt each sin, sorrow, weakness, sadness, pain, and trial of each person that has ever lived or ever will live on this earth. And yet He did. And because He did I know that I can live with my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ again.

So while I try in my own weak human way to reach out to these girls and show them I love them, I am glad that I get at least a glimpse of what my Heavenly Father feels for me, and for those girls, and for every person on this earth. Knowing that, how can we not love?


  1. Really, the emphasis on family relationships in our church is insane, until you realize how much you can learn from them.

    YW is my favorite calling, but I'm enjoying primary. Get to be over Dick, anyway, and that's a first for us (he's the 11 yo teacher and scout leader).

    Hey -- just saw that you nominated me over at MMB for the spotlight thing and wanted to tell you it made my day. THANKS!!

  2. I felt similar feelings when I was in the Relief Society Presidency, each time but especially the first time. I think I learned more about Heavenly Father's love at that time than at any other time in my life . . . well . . . so far. There really is an increased love that we feel for those we are asked to serve, I believe it comes from Heavenly Father and also knowing that YOU were meant to be there to serve THOSE girls at THAT specific time.

  3. I worked at an Elementary School for a good 8 years as a the "library lady". I know that love, because every single one of my 350 kiddos had a special place in my heart. To see them graduate high school and still remember me...wow! It was incredible. I don't know if they knew how much they touched my life, but my heart will never forget!

  4. I haven't worked with young women yet, but I loved working with my 6 year olds. Seeing their little personalities shine would just make my day. I know what you mean, though, about how much it must have hurt Heavenly Father. I wish I could take Calvin and keep him close and safe from all the evil and pain in the world, but I know there will come a time when I won't be there. That he'll have to deal with things. I don't like that at all! But my friend Judy really put it in perspective for me. She said that she doesn't pray for bad things not to happen to her family, that she prays for them to learn from their experiences and to grow closer to God from them. We all need to go through whatever we go through to learn, to get closer to our Heavenly Father, and to grow. So although it hurts to see them in pain, it's something everyone needs to go through.
    Doesn't make it any easier though.....

  5. Lol, Sharla, I just read your "Comments are the bloggy air I breathe, but please keep my air clean". Did you come up with that?


Comments are the bloggy air I breathe, but please keep my air clean.

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