I've thought many times that I wish I could show my children how much I love them. You know, just sort of take that love right out from inside me and put it inside them so that they'd really know. I imagine our Heavenly Father feels the same, times a million.
Back in July I was called as 2nd counselor in Young Women's. For those that may not know it is a program in our church geared towards the young women ages 12-18. We meet together for one hour during church and at least once a week during the week. I am personally over the 12-14 year old girls who I teach every other week and work with on a regular basis. I can honestly say that I have come to love these girls like they are my own children. Actually, not really like children as much as maybe younger sisters. I look at each of them and just see this light from within. I love to see their differences, and I can tell you in all honesty that they are each beautiful, inside and out. When I see them do something good or achieve something I am just beaming inside. And when I see one of them hurting or struggling I just ache inside for them and want to take them in my arms and make it all okay.
I feel like I'm getting a glimpse of what motherhood will be like when my children are older and making their own decisions. There is this inner ache and yearning because all you want truly and completely is for them to be happy. But you can't make them. You can't make them love you. You can't make them want to be there. You can't make them believe. You know that they will be stronger to just let them learn and grow on their own, at their own time and their own pace. But it just tears you up inside to see them hurting.
I don't know how our Heavenly Father did it. I don't know how He watched His Only Begotten Son kneel down in the Garden of Gethsemane and bleed from every pore as He felt each sin, sorrow, weakness, sadness, pain, and trial of each person that has ever lived or ever will live on this earth. And yet He did. And because He did I know that I can live with my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ again.
So while I try in my own weak human way to reach out to these girls and show them I love them, I am glad that I get at least a glimpse of what my Heavenly Father feels for me, and for those girls, and for every person on this earth. Knowing that, how can we not love?
Caution! Sharp curve ahead...
5 weeks ago