*Soundtrack Sunday is best enjoyed listening to the music while you read the post*
Today started out miserable. I wasn't able to fall asleep until late last night, so I woke up tired and cranky. Then after an argument with my sister, and the regular stress of getting everyone ready for church, I was definitely not ready to face the rest of the day. In church, my kids were being wild and noisy and crazy, more so than usual. All this, accompanied by searing pain in my ear from an ear infection I thought was gone, did not make for a good start. But as the day went on, things got better. By the end of church my heart was full, and I was revived and ready to face another week. My kids are still insane, and I am so done with the fighting and whining, but I think I can make it. Maybe.
One thing I've learned is that as the Mother, I can't be sick. Between this ear infection and a bout of stomach flu, it is apparant that I am not allowed to be sick. I must be faking it, and I better at least try to do everything I'm supposed to or feel guilty for not. I end up being exhausted emotionally more than physically when I am sick. So, no more sickness for Sharla, I can't take the guilt.
Thinking about this week, I've got butterflies in my stomach. Eldon got asked to play in his district jazz band at a big wig government dinner in Park City. Unfortunately, this fell on the night of my birthday. So instead of ditching me, he invited me to sing a few songs with them. I am excited, but I am so, so nervous. I've never really done jazz before. So wish me luck!
Once Tuesday is over, though, I can just be excited. My sister has planned a surprise next weekend for my birthday, and I can't wait! I'll let you know what it was after. I know you're dying to know!
Can I just say, my oldest twin, Ziggy, has been so, so, soooo stubborn lately. I literally don't know what to do. He doesn't care about punishments or even rewards. If he doesn't get his way he screams and screams. The only thing that seems to calm him down is sticking him in his room. And this doesn't even always work. I am to the point where I really don't know what to do....
Yeah, I won't lie. I am turning 31 this week. Birthdays are not for fun. They are not to look foward to. They aren't a big deal anymore. But the good thing is that I know this year will be better than last year, and most definitely better than the year before. So being in my 30's now isn't so bad, right? (EEEEEEEK!)
I'm in a funk. Again. I need to start writing these down on my calendar and seeing if there is some kind of patter with the seasons or something. Maybe I'm bipolar. But I go through these stages where I am just blah. I feel like I can't move forward, like I'm just in survival mode. I can't stand it. I don't know how to snap out of it. I just feel tired all the time. And so unmotivated. Why do I always seem to make life hard when really it shouldn't be?
My goal for this next little while: reach out to others. Forget about myself. Stop dwelling on all my faults. Each day, I want to try to find something to do for someone else. I hope I can succeed. Want to join me? If so, let me know in a comment, we can do it together.
So, after all that randomness, I want to say thank you. I am thankful to those that still read this blog. You sustain me.
Have a wonderful week.