Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Writer's Block

Since I wrote last, I've written, oh..... about 20 posts in my head.  

And then I sit down at the computer and I don't know where to start.  So day after day after day this little box stays empty. 

After my last post I got really motivated.  I made some serious goals and started, one day at a time, to take steps toward them.  Then, two days in, I was laid up with a horrible earache which is still taking its time healing.  The last couple of days I had some weird fever and a migraine.  So now I'm trying to feel good and get motivated again.  

So far, not working. 

In fact, I started this post hours ago and this is as far as I've gotten.  

Just this morning Winnie took off his diaper and then pooped all over the carpet.  Then he and Izzy managed to find a bottle of syrup that I thought was put away and dumped most of it out on the kitchen floor before I discovered them.  Then while I was getting the door they dumped seeds that were all in little baggies ready and labeled for gardening all over the floor in my bedroom.  And this was all on top of their usual messes of spilling lunch all over the floor, spreading toys willy nilly, and anything else they can possibly find to get into that they shouldn't.  

You guys, I'm so tired of whining.  I want to be upbeat and positive and funny.  I am grateful for my blessings, really I am.  But I am just plumb worn out.  I am so overwhelmed by messes, finances, work, etc. etc. that I can't even sort it all out.  I just want to get organized.  I want to get healthy.  I want to not go insane.  

But today, it's just not happenin'.  Maybe I'm trying to do too much...working two at home jobs, taking care of four boys including twin terrors, being a mother, cleaning the house, paying the bills with money that doesn't exist, plus church and callings and teaching and playing and being a good friend, and.......well, I don't know what to give up.  Honestly, I can't give up anything.  It's all too important.  

But heck, I'm not succeeding at a single one of those anyway.  

I know I'll survive.  Life will go on.  It's not that bad.  I'm blessed beyond measure.  I love my life, I really truly do. 

But I'm just so dang tired.


  1. Wish you lived closer so I could have your boys over for a while (like for a week) and you could take a nap! :)

  2. Man oh man! I dont know how you do it!!! you are amazing!! I have 2 kids... and only one work at home job and I already want go insane most days... Im here to chat anytime!!

  3. I know the feeling about trying to get organized. Between taking care of school, kids' activities and work there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. I found a new website called AboutOne/. This site securely stores my financial, medical and educational records for my whole family. I can look things up whenever I need to and don't have to worry about looking through a pile of manilla folders. I even used my iPhone to look something up one time.

  4. Oh man. It sounds like you need a weekend off. Have ELdon take the kids to his mothers house and you take the weekend and get a mani/pedi and RELAX.

    Have fun. Or curl up with some books and read.

    I hope it gets better. Soon.;) Love you, Sharla!

  5. Yup, you're in full mommy mode. Someday they will all be in school full time and you'll get just a tad bit of letup in the madness.


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