Wednesday, March 4, 2009

*sniff*...........*sniff*.........I'm not crying, I promise.

I knew it was going to happen. I knew it. I just knew it.

I knew that one of these days it would catch up to me. It was too good, it could never last.

The euphoric days would end, I knew this.

I can't be hurt, it's not fair. I do the same thing to countless others, and yet I don't see them crying..... of course I can't usually see them either......

I read this post by my dear friend Jane who I have known for what seems like forever, although it's been since about November. And when I read this post I remember thinking that I wish I could get close to as many comments as her........ but also feeling like I would be happy if I could get one or two. Looking at my latest posts I see 5.......11.......53....... really not too shabby in the commenting area.

But here I am. Lost. Sad. Lonely. Wondering why I can't stop checking my email to see if I have any comments. Do they care anymore? Am I just too boring now? Was the pink too much and they've all gone blind?

It's ridiculous. And I know why this has happened. I began to rely too much on comments for validation.

As Jane says: "Blogging is similar to stay-at-home motherhood in some unfortunate ways. Stay-at-home motherhood, is, at times, unsatisfying because it doesn’t always seem like a real job. It’s the same with blogging. Which is why comments and ad revenue and bloggy friends to talk with and site traffic are important. (And why the lack of any one of these things can be very, very discouraging)."

You have to read her whole post because I am relating with it way more than I did when she first wrote it.

So the moral of this post is not to make you comment out of pity.......it is to say that I appreciate you for reading, even though life is crazy and most of the blogs I subscribe to I have to delete with a glimpse because I just don't. have. time. I wish I did. I really truly do. And I'm sorry if I don't get to your blog as often as I should. Or comment as often as I should.

Love me anyway?

Do you have a blog? How do you feel about comments? If you read me tell me and I will list you under my blogs that I must read!

Have a good night......*sniff*.........I'm fine now.....really.

40 comments:

  1. *handing over some tissues*

    Good thing I stocked up on these, huh?

    I do the same thing, especially when I've been having a crappy day.

    I'm surprised, actually, that I don't get more entries on giveaways than I have been. I guess I'm not giving away cool enough stuff. LOL

    You're right - comments are just about our only way of knowing if the readers love or hate us. At least if it's one or the other they comment. If they are ambivalent about what we have to say, or they simply agree and don't feel inspired or passionate about how we phrased something, they just nod their head (or shake their head) and wander off to another blog. And other than our stat counters, we never know they were there. The counters tell us how they came to us and where they left off, but they don't tell us whether they LIKED our writing - and by proxy, US.

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  2. I LOVE COMMENTS ! It's sad really how excited I get when I have new comments on my blog (or a new follower) & how depressing it is when there are NO comments. I am way too addicted to the blog world.

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  3. I rely on them, too. Things picked up for me, but I went through a Maybe-2-comments-a-day period, and I almost called all my friends to say "Hey! I know you read my blog. I know we see each other all the time, but Please just leave me a comment so I know someone cares."

    It's hard to remember that when You are the one reading and commenting, though. Especially when you're reading and commenting on dozens of blogs.

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  4. I love comments. Like you, I get all excited to see a new one! LOL! It just makes me happy that someone is actually reading and that they care enough to say something about what I've written! It makes me feel special! LOL!

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  5. IM sure you have more comments than me. Keep your chin up you will get lots of comments. At least you get one per post!
    liz

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  6. I like comments too, But I already know some of my friends read it they are just not the commenting type. Seriously though how do you let the world know you have a blog? You have tons of people who read your blog. It's gotta be more than the giveaways girl. Tell me how please. I bet it's just time. The longer you have a blog up there the more people will know about it.
    I also am making an attempt to go outside my comfort zine and do things with the sisters in my ward when my hubby gets home. Cause being a mom is hard. Sometimes you just need some "getaway" time.

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  7. That zine word is zone. I was typing too fast...

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  8. Hey Sharla... you inspired me to write a new post about blogger comments. Check out my blog if you haven't already. Thanks SO much!!!!! :)

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  9. =D Maybe *I* need to write a post like this too! ;D

    I DO read. But I'll be more attentative. ;)

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  10. Oh how I know what you're feeling, I've checked 5 times to see if I have comments about my last post... I do not. :(

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  11. It is always nice to have comments, it makes me feel validated for what I have posted. Haha it is kind of funny because I tell myself that I do my blog for me and it doesn't matter if people comment. But there is just something about comments that make you feel happy!

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  12. My blog is just a family blog; no chance of getting any revenue from ads because there aren't any ads. But I still want comments! And I have no self-control when it comes to not checking for comments. I think my all time high comments on a blog was 10. And when people don't comment I know that it must mean it's because they don't like me! And they think my blog is stupid. And they think I'm stupid. And they don't even like Morgan, which is ridiculous.
    However, I don't comment very often on many blogs and it's only because I feel like I have nothing good to say or that the person wouldn't want to hear from me anyway. A strange world indeed.

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  13. I love comments but I rarely get any. I just started my blog this year, and not even my mom (who I know reads like everyday) comments. Is that net the saddest thing ever? And I love to comment on other blogs because I know how excited I get...gotta share the love, right? Sending bloggy-hugs your way!

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  14. Well, you have seen me do no comment week this week, which has actually been very refreshing. I will be posting tomorrow on my blog about why I did it and how I feel about it. I like comments too; I'm just realizing that I was killing myself commenting on other's blogs so they would comment on mine. I can't do that anymore!

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  15. You are so cute, and I really do understand. Comments are validation and we as moms don't get validation very much so when we can find something outside of momville that gives us that validation it is really nice. I am at the 2 comments a post stage right now and it is always the same 2 sweet people. I am trying hard to not care anymore but it is tough to get there.

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  16. I just found you through...mmmmm, I can't remember. But anyway, I thought I would drop by and check out your blog, and so i wanted to say Hi! :)

    I totally agree wtih you about wanting to know if anyone reads my stuff. i installed a blog counter, and it lets me know how many people came during the day. So even if no one comments, I'm cheered by the fact that at least 4 people read one day, or even 8. The highest I ever got was 80 in one day. But that was just a fluke, i think :)

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  17. The more comments someone has on their posts, the less likely I will comment. Like The Pioneer Woman - surely she doesn't have the time to read all those comments! Although she actually came to my blog once (didn't comment though).

    But another blogger, who gets 150+ comments per post is obviously reading her comments and always comments on my blog - so I know she's listening. Knowing there's a relationship there, that seems to make a difference. I just don't know how you'd be able to know all your readers intimately without it taking up too much of your day that is already spoken for.

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  18. I've noticed that I'm less likely to comment when there are already tons of comments.(Don't want to read through them all - don't want to repeat what someone else has already said - don't want to waste my time if the blogger isn't going to read it).

    There is an exception - one blogger that is obviously reading her comments, all 150+ and makes comments to her comments and her readers. Plus she always comments on my posts. There's a two way relationship so it feels like she cares. Like if I didn't comment she would notice.

    The only problem is, where does one find the time? There's a price to pay and I don't know if I, for one, would ever be able to put the time into it when much of my time is already spoken for.

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  19. Yeah, I love comments, but rarely comment on what I read elsewhere. Sometimes I don't have anything to say and sometimes I just don't have time to put the words together into a coherent comment right then. Ah well. Hey, I just noticed you haven't commented on my blog today--maybe you don't like me anymore . . . since yesterday . . . ;)

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  20. I read you and you should read me! :)

    I hear you though. Sometimes if I ask a question in a post and NO ONE comments it really bums me out. *tap tap tap* Anyone out there?!?!?

    What's frustrating is I KNOW I get a lot of readers and subscriptions but...no one takes the time to comment.

    I've started commenting a LOT on different blogs to encourage return commenting. It's helping!

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  21. I too LOVE to get comments. I feel it is always polite that if someone leaves me a comment that I should go and leave a comment on their blog (now of course--I am not one of those bloggers that get 300 comments a day--so that is EASY for me to do--but seriously--I really feel that we should really all be friendly and try to spread the bloggy love and goodwill.

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  22. I love to get comments on my blog. Makes me feel good. And I make friends.

    I read your blog. Add us ;)

    http://porterandabigail.blogspot.com/

    Shannon
    Austin

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  23. Sigh. I think we all have days like that. (Or weeks, in my case.)

    Sometimes I think we're just too plain GIRLY and we WILL be petty and get low self-esteem over pretty much anything.

    I love ya. Feel better?

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  24. Blog hopped over here from Jane's blog and enjoyed this post. Only once have I ever had more than 10 comments on a post. It is hard when I see the huge number of comments some blogs get. But then, I do not leave as many comments as I should.

    Love your blog!

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  25. How I wish there were more hours in a day! I too, love comments! Love, love love them! I try to visit as many people as I can, but I'm a part-time working out of the home mama with a 9 year old and 18 month old. It's tough! I do appreciate your blog....you've got a good thing going!

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  26. I completely understand. Some weeks there are no comments.. and it is so funny how it affects me lol Whether we like it or not Comments good and bad are still a validation that people are reading our words.. I try to leave comments.. then I get into a rut of reading and running... Its a vicious cycle isn't it? :)

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  27. I always read your blog, but didn't comment cuz you didn't know me so I figure you didn't care what I thought-but I do enjoy reading it!

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  28. April.....of course I care what you think!!!! Thank you everyone for your comments!!! I love you!!

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  29. Girl, You are one silly nerd!! You know we love you! BUT...I get the same way. Sometimes, I'm like, "Is anyone out there or am I talkin' to myself?". As a matter of fact, I wrote a similar post a little while back. Come to find out, I just have shy readers/lurkers. You still get wayyy more comments than I do.

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  30. Really tired from work, just wanted to say hi :)

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  31. Already stop by here, don't always say hello! I'll try to be better about it :-) I totally understand the downfall of comments... I have been getting fewer as well!

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  32. I wish that I could look for comments!! I don't even have time to creat my blog page :( With all of the blogs and all of the great giveaways, it takes so much time to even click on each one! I hope your comment page brings you great joy today! Lots of love!!!!!

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  33. Again, this is why I don't blog (yet). I still need validation as a stay-at-home mom..."How does the house look today?" Thankfully DH has learned to say good, you did a good job.
    So, to make a point (but you do much better than "good"), Good, you did a good job. ;)
    BTW, you should be proud, your music player at the bottom got me to turn my volume on.

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  34. LOL, Jane is soooo right! I myself have been acting...being a braggart on my own blog..."it is all about my son" and posting on my own blog...But, I read every one of your posts and emails and love them! It will not stop. I might
    not enter, but, that is because I feel someone would need it or like it more then I. You rock and I know, even if they are not responding, like our kids don't untill we have to YELL...we are reading! If you ever feel like you are lacking...just look at my blog...it will make you feel sooooo much better!! I want to C U Smile!! DO it!! I Dare ya!! Then go watch my videos of mason and get a hint of what kind of pride you will soon be posting about your boys and how soon they will be saying "LOVE YOU MOM" as they graduate, recieve their medal or trophies or even when they make the honor roll!! Just like these moments, you will have the same here where you will be beaming with pride and joy with your blog, especially as time goes by and significant moments happen..like your 1000 blog, 10,000 post, etc. You got it going on girlfriend.

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  35. BTW , I love your site for who you are, and not
    because I expect anything. I feel honored when you do post and I get an email, no matter how often or what it is about. You do have kids...HELLO!! To me you are already Super woman! I can't even keep up with my blog and the kids are gone!! LOL! Take it easy...this is about you...not us. I am honored to be a member, and come because I like to read what you have to say, not because I get a comment or email from you personally! You know I NEVER have other bloggers respond, to my comments (Maybe a couple) so I felt extremely blessed when you took time to respond to my sad, unintresting and extrememly bragging posts! For you to find the time for people like me, be a SAHM and run this site is saying a LOT about the kind of person you are. But, you should slow it down, I love your posts whether you respond to mine or not. So, please, I would rather you put the time into your posts, instead of me and I am sure others feel the same...I would rather you have more time to post a blog and care for your kids then try to respond to my blogs. I don't want you to get burnt out by taking so much time to respond to things like my insignificant blogs, ones that take too much of your time and do not help you on things that will make you an even better blogger. I talk to much. I am sorry. Now go, knowing you and your posts are loved! BTW..bragging again..Mase is 12th in the nation..as a Freshman! Pray he hold his time in the top 16 this weekend. Like you don't have better things to do!

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  36. Count your blessings...my little blog NEVER gets comments unless it is from you occasionally. I do read, but like you, run out of time to post on each and every one, unless prizes are involved. :)

    Love Emily

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  37. I love to get comments on my blog, too. It's kinda sad, but, sometimes, a simple comment can really make my day. It's especially frustrating not to get a good turnout when I'm having a giveaway. I definitely read and enjoy your blog! Have a good weekend!

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  38. Awwww, I read your blog but I'm not big on comments. I love your blog. Have a great weekend and know you have readers like me that don't always comment.

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  39. I totally, totally know what you mean. I check my email way too often and I am way too sad when I've got no/few comments. Same thing when I list something is my Etsy shop and nobody looks at it. Sometimes I want to take stuff down just because clearly nobody cares. But they do. They're just busy like me.

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Comments are the bloggy air I breathe, but please keep my air clean.

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