Up for discussion today.....more babies, or no more babies? I'd love to hear what you think.
So lately, since shortly before Christmas, off and on, I've had the baby ache. Very, very badly I might add. I think of a baby in my arms, and I ache inside so much I almost can't stand it. The other day I had my youngest, 4 1/2 year old Winnie, in my lap. He always wants me to rub his tummy so he laid down with his feet up by my face. His feet are still pretty little, and still pretty cute, so I did one of my favorite mommy things and played with his feet. But then when I kissed them.....
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| These are kissable feet! |
I used to ache for a baby girl, but at this point I don't even care if it's a boy or a girl. And I think that's what scares me the most.
You see, analytically, these are the reasons why I am done having babies:
2. I have a part time teaching job that I LOVE! And knowing myself if I had another baby the job would definitely be the first thing to go. And that makes me sad.
3. It has been almost a year since I've had any kids in diapers. Need I say more?
4. We're still trying to buy a house, and really are not in good financial place to have another baby.5. I really need to lose weight. And yeah, even though I lose when I'm pregnant, I always gain back when nursing.
6. I don't want my last baby to be lonesome with more than 5 years between them and the twins.
7. I don't want to have twins again. Really not sure I could handle that.
8. Do I really want more than 4 kids? I mean really?
9. My twins are starting to get themselves dressed, their own shoes on, helping clean up, etc.
10. I'm getting old. I'm about to enter an entirely new era in my life. Do I want to start all that again?
But then, what if there is a little spirit up there waiting for me? Waiting for my family?
And is that why the ache won't go away?
For now, I'll look at some pictures of my babies, maybe try to talk some friends into letting me play with their babies, and hope the ache goes away.
But what do you think? Baby or no baby? That is the question.
Oh goodness! Good luck, sweetheart. There is really only one solution and if you put it off it will just get worse and all your excuses will seem bigger making the decision even harder. ;) (This coming from someone who doesn't have the baby ache--tho I snuggled with Jenae's beautiful baby last night--and is finished, so take it as you will.)
ReplyDeleteOh, I have been praying about it. But I am just still torn. I really don't know if it is the spirit telling me I should or something else. And hubby isn't feeling it either. Secretly hoping the ache fades......lol. And yeah, I know the longer I wait the more it will make sense not to.
ReplyDeleteListen to your heart. I thought for sure I was done at four. It seemed like the perfect number. I had a whole list of reasons why I was done too, but the ache never went away. So I listened and I couldn't imagine my family without my little guy in it, it wouldn't be complete. I'm not saying to have another baby necessarily, but listen closely to your heart an you will know what you should do.
ReplyDeleteYou can try with out trying, Get off the birth control, and see what happens. If you get pregnant great That is the Lords way of telling you that you needed some one else, and if you don't get pregnant then you know your answer. But keep on praying, some times when he doesn't answer a prayer, its because it can go either way, no matter which way you choose it will be ok. Good luck, we are stuck in the same spot! We are poor, but we know another kid is supposed to join our family. Lots of prayers being said! Keep it up your a great mom!
ReplyDeleteThis question is a tough one.....ask any mom.....well a mom with kids that are out of diapers, nobody wishes they had less kids. I have 6 and life is hard but would be incomplete with out them all. That being said....do you really want to start over? I mean, I started over when my youngest was 3 1\2....Its really hard to be the mom of babies and older kids. Also think of finacial sacrafices your other kids will have to make, and decide if those things they will miss (and there will be things they will have to miss) are things you and they can be witnout. I think you know what has to happen, you and the hubs ought to go on a date, to dinner and maybe the temple. Decide with the 3 of you, and you'll know.
ReplyDeleteThis question is a tough one.....ask any mom.....well a mom with kids that are out of diapers, nobody wishes they had less kids. I have 6 and life is hard but would be incomplete with out them all. That being said....do you really want to start over? I mean, I started over when my youngest was 3 1\2....Its really hard to be the mom of babies and older kids. Also think of finacial sacrafices your other kids will have to make, and decide if those things they will miss (and there will be things they will have to miss) are things you and they can be witnout. I think you know what has to happen, you and the hubs ought to go on a date, to dinner and maybe the temple. Decide with the 3 of you, and you'll know.
ReplyDeleteI think the "baby ache" is in truth hormones. It is normal for a female to want to have kids, her hormones tell her too. Not necessarily a spirit waiting...So the choice is yours. You have valid points. Both sides. Good luck. I know what I would do lol. :P
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ReplyDeleteFocus on raising your boys to be good husbands and fathers (it's really not that far away) and then you can hold all of their babies in your arms!
ReplyDeleteWe were in your situation thinking we were done and jutin even had a vasectomy (sorry if tmi) and then one night I had a very strong desire to have another baby. We had a serious dicussion and kept thinking about it. Well, a few days later a young girl we knew told us she was pregnant and asked if wed want to adopt her baby. We now have a 10 week old baby boy named ayden. We don't have any extra money, he is our 5th, and our youngest until him was 4.5. There wasn't anything logically about our choice, but we couldn't be any happier. Justin and I said many prayers. Good luck! Julie anderson
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same exact boat but just a little younger. Still no answer!
ReplyDeleteYour list of reasons seems like it was easy to put together. Almost like you were trying to talk your self out of another baby. The question is, can you tell if this is a real desire, and something you crave enough to put that list, one by one, aside?
ReplyDeleteIf it is, then you have your answer. Deep down, well, maybe not so deep, you know what you are going to do. But I will tell you, I never looked back when we decided we were done with 2. Although, my situation was a bit more unique.
Yeah, I was older, had more age gap between kids, had all my kids in all day school, a house that was too small with 3 kids, and didn't even have the baby ache and we got one I wouldn't give back. He's been so good for our family. Oh, and your carseat will be available (although it expires 12/12). ;) But seriously, you do what's right for you and your family. You'll figure it out. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew what to say that would help you out...But I'm out of anything.
ReplyDeleteUltimately you've gotta do what feels right to you - even if it's just your head telling you what to do. And somehow things will always work themselves out.
BTW - Feel free to come steal my 1 year old ANYTIME you'd like. ;)
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ReplyDeleteEugene's message went through under my name so we removed it and put it in with his name on it. :)
DeleteDear daughter,
ReplyDeleteI don't want to influence you decision, but about three nights ago, I had a dream in which I was tending a little newborn girl. I don't know if you are aware of it, but I have had dreams about several of our grand daughters. I have never dreamed about the grandsons, but I have about the grand daughters, and the dreams are prior to their births. I am not saying she was yours, only that I believe there is another grand daughter yet to come into the family. So let the spirit guide you.
Love,
Dad Carbine
I'm kind of in the same boat as well. I only have 3 but in ways want to be done and move on as I am getting older. However, still have that feeling I may not be done. I have, however, gotten past the "I want a girl" stage. Just not sure I can handle another rowdy boy. I don't usually get the "ache" though. I wish there was a magic answer for all of us. I think Andee is right, prayer and temple. No matter what choice we make, it will be ok and things will work out. Most of my excuses are selfish and worldly but not sure that is all bad either. hmmm. what to do?! Good luck, especially after I read Dad Carbine's reply. Keep in touch.
ReplyDeletebest of luck in your decision!! so tough. but i think all is right prayers and temple for both of you.. dad carbine hit it on the head let the spirit be your guide
ReplyDeleteliz m
Well it has been a while since I have seen those beautiful pictures of your boys as babies. Boys or babies they are the cutest and they are loved by the greatest mom and dad. It is a tough question one I did not have a choice about really. I would love to have another cuddlebug to hug. But I know it is a tough decision. I will say this that you and Eldon are great parents and any special spirit that came into your home would be blessed. I don't feel I can advise you financially and stuff maybe that is more a Dad thing. Perhaps you can talk with him next weekend. I love you and whatever decision you make will be right. MOM
ReplyDeleteBaby girl!
ReplyDelete