*Soundtrack Sunday is best enjoyed listening to the music while you read the post*
(I have read Crazyland's Soundtrack Sunday posts for a couple of weeks now and I just LOVE them, so for the first time I am actually jumping on board (with Motherboard, lol) with a weekly meme. So press play, and let's get bizz-ay)
Right now, at this moment, I am feeling free. I think I've mentioned that I have been cleaning house, both inside and out.
Do you ever feel like you clean your house over and over and over and over, and it never stays that way?
Does it feel like it will never stay clean? That it is a pointless endeavor?
That is how I feel with me right now. I feel like I will never be the person I want to be.
That as much as I try, as much as I want it, for every step I take forward, I take two back.
It's easy to think....why try? Why does it matter? Why do I matter?
And there are dark moments when I really can't see why.
Which is sad, because I know.
I know I am a daughter of God. He loves me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to grow, and learn, but He does not want me to despair.
So, I am going to try to turn myself outward.
I am going to think less of myself and more of others. I am going to forgive those that hurt me, and help those that need help.
And I will love.
It is one thing I'm good at. Loving others. That is why it hurts so bad when people say or do hurtful things to me.
I care. Too much, sometimes.
But I will keep loving. And I will keep caring. I will try to see other's through God's eyes.
And what I see will be beautiful.
This I know.
You are loved.
And amazingly enough, so am I.