No, irregardless of my psychotic fascination with doing the opposite of what is "cool" and "in", the whole overweight (since fat, obese, disgusting tend to make me cringe) journey was not a conscious choice. Trying to get healthy, or healthier IS a conscious choice, but is still one that seems to kick me in the butt every day.
I don't believe in being "skinny" or "thin", I know that I will never look like an anorexic model. Nor do I want to. Honestly, most the time I'm even actually okay with myself, because my body hasn't ever betrayed me. Yet. So far it's worked for everything I've wanted to do. I can still run and play and tumble with my boys.
But even that is not enough anymore. I want to feel good. And yes, I want to look good. And I am making day to day changes that will help me get there. I know it won't happen overnight. It's going to be a long hard process. But I really believe, this time, that I will get there.
One resource that has been incredibly helpful to me is a new blog called Healthy Life Crusaders. Not only does it have a plethora of incredibly useful information, it is also authored by my high school best friend and sister-in-law Liz, and her sister Val. I know that Liz has been through a lot with her health, and has learned a lot of things that can help you control your own health in natural ways. And I am lucky enough to have her as my cheerleader every day!
Another resource that has been incredibly helpful to me is The One Day Way by Chantel Hobbs. Her method makes it easier for me to just take it one day and one step at a time instead of getting overwhelmed trying to do it all at once and then giving up, as usual. She said so many things in her book that I agree with, including using faith in the process. And I am nothing without faith and prayer.
I can't promise that I will lose a pound a day, or that I will be skinny in a few months. But I believe that I need to do what I can to help myself and my family lead a healthier, happier life.
But, you know, I'll always be me. Fat or thin. So take it or leave it. Peace out my friends. And good luck on whatever journey you are on!