Friday, September 11, 2009

Pacifiers in the street

Driving around we've all seen those objects in or on the side of the road that make us scratch our head in wonderment. Whether it's that random shoe or the soda pop bottle with yellow liquid that you really don't want to contemplate any further, people seem to lose the weirdest things out there on our highways.

Today after taking the kids to school I saw a pacifier in the road. It was blue. I couldn't help but wonder if that mother has been frantically looking for it to get her little baby to stop screaming, or if she has an entire passel of pacifiers back home.

To me, that pacifier represents not only everything I love about where I live, but also everything I love about my life right now. Funny enough, none of my kids have really taken pacifiers except for just a few months. But to me that lone pacifiers speaks novels.

This is my time and my season to be a mother. I am assaulted with this face and whining clawing hands and legs as they crawl up my body on a continual, persistent basis. Times two.

Now is my turn to spend hours each day helping with homework.

Now is my time to have a house of continual chaos and mess. I daren't ever think it's clean, because I will soon be proven wrong.

This is my time for carpools, and practices, volunteering in the classroom, loads and loads and loads of laundry, a gallon of milk gone in a day, stains in the carpet, diapers on the floor, headaches every night. Whining, crying, pushing, pulling, tugging, pleading, plying, begging, bugging....exhausting. (Right this minute Ziggy is assaulting me with a big box of fishies. Oh no, he doesn't want the fish, he doesn't want me to hold him, he just wants to hit me and scream at me for no reason that I can decipher)

Twenty years from now, when my boys are grown and gone, I'll wonder where these years went. I'll wish to go back for one more kiss and one more hug. I'll try to remember the quiet moments. The small things.

But I doubt I'll be able to remember Roo this morning. As he ran with all the 5 year old faith in the world to grab a dandelion. And while I'm thinking of those seeds spreading to our grass he's got that weed clutched in his hand...."I wish.....I wish....that every wish come true." And with his eyes aglow with the sure knowledge of wishes that come true, he blew those seeds to the wind. In that moment even I believed that he could make every wish come true.

I wish.....I wish.....

Hmmm....that's weird. I can't think of a single thing to wish for.


  1. I feel that same way! Some days I wonder why am I doing this, why did a want to be a mother, but I need to stop and enjoy the moment and not worry so much about the house being clean, or other things and just enjoy my kids while they are little because I wont get this time back. Thanks for sharing!

  2. There are certainly moments to savor and those we'd rather forget. Like how many times you wipe a little bum in a day.

  3. Time will fly by faster than you can imagine. My daughter is 20 - yes, twenty - although it is hard to believe. It seems she was so small just yesterday.

    allibrary (at) aol (dot) com

  4. I liked this post. I love those boys. THey are little terrors but the most easy to love. Can't wait to be a mom! And want to rip my hair out too!

  5. Oh Sharla, have put my feelings into words here at my computer. I am crying in front of everyone. It really hit me hard when this weekend Aaron and Emily announced that Calvin my oldest grandkid is going to be a deacon and I haven't been able to give all my grandkids the hugs kisses, loves, and memories that I always wanted to. There are always what if, or if only, Catch them while you can. You really don't know how fast it will fly by. And when you are having that bad day like your other blog spot remember that those 4 boys are your greatest blessings in little fiesty bodies with the biggest hearts and untampered love. MOM (Grandma)


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