I'm not nearly as smart as my friend Jane. I can't say things the way she does. Most of the time I read her posts and I'm nodding my head and grinning because she says things I can only semi-form in my mind. And then she writes them out and I'm like YES! That's what I meant!
And she's at it again with her The Good Mother post that I'm pretty sure was a reply to THIS post. I read both of them, and they both have good points. But I'm in agreement with Jane.
We all make mistakes. Not a single one of us is perfect. (Sorry if I just burst your bubble, but it's true.) I for one can find a million things that make me a BAD mother (which I do frequently). I could also give you a (smaller) list of things I do that make me a GOOD mother. But here is what I believe and what I think Jane believes, just put in simpler terms.
Yes, sometimes I do things that make me a bad mother. But I refuse to shrug and say "Oh well, what do you do? That's who I am and proud of it!" Nope. I acknowledge my faults, but I don't embrace them. And then, I do what I can do to be a BETTER mother. Even if it's small baby steps. Even if I go one step forward and three backward. Even if I fail more than I succeed.
I will never, and I mean never, just give up and be okay with being BAD. Sure, I have a hard time finding the balance between feeling guilty enough to get motivated but not so bad that I climb in my closet and refuse to come out. But that doesn't keep me from trying.
Jane uses the word "cool", but the word for me has always been "trendy". It seems right now being a bad mom is trendy. I have always been against trendy. Or to put it more succinctly, I'm against doing something just because it's trendy. Breastfeeding is trendy again, but I did it because it worked for me and heck, it's cheap! Cloth diapers are trendy and oh so good for our environment, but I will never ever ever ever use them. Why in the heck would I if I don't have to!?
So to sum up what I believe:
If you believe in something, and you feel it's good for your family, by all means do it. But do it because it's good and right, not because it's trendy.
Good is good and bad is bad. However you spin it that's the truth.
Don't beat yourself up because you're not perfect. But don't justify it either.
If you want to know if something is good or bad pray about it. He is the one who knows you and your family best.
And most importantly, don't base your opinion of yourself by what others think. Base it on what He thinks. And you know what? Bad or good He loves you, that I do know. And you know what? Whoever you are, I love you too.
(No really, I do. And I had to add a parentheses because I like them so much.;)
Caution! Sharp curve ahead...
2 months ago